When I was in Victoria for Hallowe’en, I came across a gang of mummies late one night.
Oh, sure, they look cute with those big doe eyes. But come on – they’re mummies! They have to be evil!
I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice, and took one home with me to do away with it. I looked at it as my civic duty really.
Again with the big doe eyes! I’m not falling for it mummy!
It had remained pretty dormant for the past week, until this evening when I heard it stirring. Sometime after dinner. You know, when one might want to eat, say, dessert? I knew it was time.
Time to defeat the mummy.
Did you know mummies have a thick, chocolatey skin? And a layer of oozy, delicious caramel? I was pleasantly surprised. Perhaps this mummy killing stuff wasn’t going to be so hard.
Underneath those layers of delicious defence you’ll find the sour bite of a granny smith apple.
Little did he know, I love me a sour apple. Marianne: 1, mummy: 0.
Things just kept getting worse for the poor little mummy. He lost an eye.
And little by little…
…bite by bite…
…he was soon in pretty rough shape.
By this point in time, both his eyes had fallen off.
There was nothing they could do, but watch the horror unfold.
You can’t blame him for shedding a tear.
But as time wore on, I realized the mummy’s sweet chocolate and caramel exterior was a brilliant defence mechanism. Eat enough of that, and you’ll soon have one wicked tummy ache.
Not one to quit, I just peeled off the rest, and devoured the rest of his insides.
I made sure to have the last laugh.
Or did I?