How To Defeat A Mummy

When I was in Victoria for Hallowe’en, I came across a gang of mummies late one night.

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Oh, sure, they look cute with those big doe eyes. But come on – they’re mummies! They have to be evil!

I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice, and took one home with me to do away with it. I looked at it as my civic duty really.

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Again with the big doe eyes! I’m not falling for it mummy!

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It had remained pretty dormant for the past week, until this evening when I heard it stirring. Sometime after dinner. You know, when one might want to eat, say, dessert? I knew it was time.

Time to defeat the mummy.

Did you know mummies have a thick, chocolatey skin? And a layer of oozy, delicious caramel? I was pleasantly surprised. Perhaps this mummy killing stuff wasn’t going to be so hard.

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Underneath those layers of delicious defence you’ll find the sour bite of a granny smith apple.

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Little did he know, I love me a sour apple. Marianne: 1, mummy: 0.

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Things just kept getting worse for the poor little mummy. He lost an eye.

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And little by little…

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…bite by bite…

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…he was soon in pretty rough shape.

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By this point in time, both his eyes had fallen off.

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There was nothing they could do, but watch the horror unfold.

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You can’t blame him for shedding a tear.

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But as time wore on, I realized the mummy’s sweet chocolate and caramel exterior was a brilliant defence mechanism. Eat enough of that, and you’ll soon have one wicked tummy ache.

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Not one to quit, I just peeled off the rest, and devoured the rest of his insides.

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Victory!

I made sure to have the last laugh.

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Or did I?

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Categories: Cheesy Humour, Chocolate

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5 Comments on “How To Defeat A Mummy”

  1. November 8, 2010 at 8:26 am #

    HOLY CRAP!! THAT THING IS MONSTEROUS (pun intended)! you made me laugh so hard throughout these pictures! omg haha u and me are probably the rare few that would stick food and candy on our face haha! i love how you dislocated him and peeled his face off- creepy but yummy 😉
    these would have been perfect for me to make for halloween. i saw online someone make these into cookies, but they looked kinda boring. ur version is rediculously clever- i just saved the photo, its too pretty not to ❤

    btw i got the pumpkin spiced tea from fairway markets… the one on shelbourne (shelbourne plaza) carried it and the peppermint one too.

    • November 8, 2010 at 8:28 am #

      just realized u bought them from rocky mountain chocolate factory- oops! k i’ll just pretend you made them haha. but in all fairness, its only because generally you make the most amazing professional creations that i just assume hehe ❤

  2. November 8, 2010 at 7:21 pm #

    LOL! Awesome post – gave me a good giggle! the mummy looked delish too… 🙂

  3. November 9, 2010 at 8:53 am #

    LMAO! Great post, Marianne! I sure needed the chuckle on this boring day of work! HAHA

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  1. Tweets that mention How To Defeat A Mummy « french fries to flax seeds -- Topsy.com - November 8, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Marianne B, Marianne B. Marianne B said: How To Defeat A Mummy: http://t.co/YIJFXsq […]

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